The Beginners Guide to Balanced Motherhood in 2021
This post is going to help you get started on your path to being a balanced, happy, healthy mom. Motherhood isn’t easy, especially in this day and age, but there are ways to live with more intention that will lead you to more enjoyment and less stress. I have spent years studying and learning from top thought leaders, at different times have been a working mom, a stay at home mom and have juggled two kids and starting my own business plus have talked to hundreds of moms about their greatest struggles, needs and desires.
What is Balanced Motherhood?
Balanced Motherhood doesn’t have a one-size-fits-all definition. It isn’t staying home or working a full time job. It isn’t going to yoga class or being part of the perfect baby group. It isn’t throwing Pinterest-worthy parties or making sure you have your kids signed up for multiple extracurriculars. It isn’t zoom wine nights every Friday with your girlfriends or date nights with your partner on Saturday. It isn’t any ONE thing.
Being balanced in motherhood starts with being balanced as the amazing person that you are first. It’s understanding what makes YOU tick, what fills your cup, what brings you joy, what you value and what you are passionate about. It’s remembering who you are and having the courage to let her show up.
How Do I Even Begin?
You start with being honest with yourself. Take some time to make some lists- one that lists your passions/hobbies/interests, one that lists your previous/current jobs (go all the way back to that first, maybe even awkward, one), one that lists your core values and, finally, one that lists your dreams. Just get pen to paper and let these pour out of you. Give yourself five minutes. Don’t overthink it. Do it now and come right back.
Now take those lists and circle the commonalities between them. THIS is your starting point. You’ve uncovered what makes you uniquely you and what is important to you. This is the framework and launching pad to finding your own balance.
Tips to Get You Started
- Be kind to yourself. Change can be uncomfortable but not as uncomfortable as staying stuck, wondering “what if” or feeling resentful.
- Write down your current daily schedule. Include every boring bit- even the mindless scrolling, household chores, evening Netflix marathons etc
- Give yourself ten minutes. Start with committing a ten minute chunk of time to doing one thing just for you- every single day.
- Progress not perfection. Embrace this and repeat it daily. Some days you will feel like a rock star, others you may be a hot mess- that’s normal. Let yourself off the hook for once!
FAQ About Living Balanced in Motherhood
Why is it important?
You are important. When you consistently put the needs of others first, whether it’s your partner, kids, work or family, it will lead to overwhelm, stress and, eventually, burnout. You can’t pour from an empty cup! When you are well taken care of, have your needs met and feel good- you will be better able to deal with whatever life throws at you.
How do you grow a positive mindset?
By working on it daily. Reading, listening, affirming, practicing gratitude, becoming aware of and questioning the stories you’ve told yourself, meditating, moving. Pay attention to who and what you give your attention to and ask yourself if they are building you up or tearing you down.
I want to be healthy but I don’t have the time. What do I do?
Start with ten minutes. I get that motherhood has so many layers and responsibilities and it sometimes feels like we don’t even have a minute to pee. Trade in that last episode you’re watching, turn your phone off or try waking up ten minutes earlier- or even staying up ten minutes later. Give up the idea of perfectionism and embrace a get-it-done attitude. A quick workout is better than the pilates class you keep meaning to go to. Having a little dance party with your kids will work just fine and give everyone a break from screens and a little endorphin boost. Prep a few healthy snacks for the week instead of hitting up the drive-thru. Baby steps beat never starting.
How can I fit in self care?
Define what self care means to you at that moment. Ask yourself what needs nourishing- your mind, body or spirit. Baths and face masks are lovely but when life is feeling heavy that may not be what you truly need. I highly recommend starting a daily routine or ritual that is built off of your personal needs. Do you need to gather your thoughts and centre yourself before the daily activities begin in your home? Do you enjoy the evenings the best and get better sleep in the morning hours? Do you have a baby with an unpredictable schedule? A regularly scheduled routine will work for some and a daily checklist will work for others. Self care can be as simple as taking a few minutes to check in with yourself.
What can I really accomplish in ten minutes?
So much! Sometimes we spend so much time trying to figure out how it’s going to fit in or work that we waste that precious time and energy. If you read for ten minutes a day every day for a year- that would average out to about 3650 pages a year or about 20 books. I bet you could learn, grow and become a better version of yourself from the knowledge you gain and put into action from those books! If you did a ten minute household chore each day- you will have spent more than an hour a week in the “wasted” time in your day to give yourself a full hour of guilt-free, enjoyable free time on the weekend. What about if you spent ten minutes of time being completely present with your partner or child. No phones, no multitasking- don’t you think that would strengthen your relationship?
The Last Thing You Need to Know about Being a Ten Minute Mom
Ultimately, it’s deciding what is important to you. Think about the major areas of your life. Usually they’re categories like relationships, family, finances, health/wellness, work/business, spirituality/religion etc. Pick your top 5 and then choose what success looks like to you in those areas. Now you can go back to your schedule and find the “wasted” time in it. That’s the time that isn’t fueling your top 5. You’ve probably just freed up at least an hour a day- likely more. This is where you can start trading the time wasters for ten minute pockets towards your best life.
And finally, ten minutes is just the beginning. It’s to help you get started and get the ball rolling. As you create new habits, you’ll shift and change. When you start enjoying your days more, feeling more balanced and less stressed, you will likely start saying No to things that aren’t part of your plan and taking the time for what makes you feel good. And isn’t that the point of life, to feel good?
What’s your biggest hurdle balancing all things mama-related? Time? Money? Energy? Organization?
Vote in the comments and we’ll be glad to deliver!